Big Decisions
The decisions we make shape the lives that we lead and the people we become.
According to the very clever people who count things, we make around 35,000 decisions per day.
Most of these are automated and subconscious and although the sheer volume of them makes a huge impact on our daily reality; they often pass by unnoticed.
There are however times in our lives when we need to make a big decision. You know those times.
They have a little bit more fizz to them.
We imagine the outcomes profoundly affecting our futures and therefore there is such a danger in getting them wrong.
They can create enormous amounts of angst for two reasons.
Firstly, we cannot predict the future and yet in these instances we do try.
It's a bit like business planning.
One of the most ridiculous wastes of time I have ever encountered.
It takes huge amounts of sweat and effort and yet a plan is never realised because the future is way more technicolour and exciting then we can predict.
So yes, we should make smart decisions with the information we've got, but let's not pretend we are so smart that we know how things will pan out - we just don't.
The second reason that big decisions are so difficult is that most of us don't know what we really want.
When people think about their futures they can readily tell you everything they don't want but will rarely mention what they do.
This is due to our overdeveloped negativity bias where we are designed to move away from pain, but bizarrely, we are less attuned to move towards pleasure.
We also don't know what we want because it is hidden deep within our subconscious.
95% of our processing is beneath our awareness and yet that processing is vital to us making good decisions.
It gets deployed brilliantly when we are on autopilot making the majority of those 35,000 decisions per day but when the conscious brain takes over, and tries to be all rational and clever, it stops listening to all that genius.
Therefore when making big decisions we often get trapped in a loop; considering whether or not your logic makes sense, and if our thinking is robust, because it doesn't quite feel right.
That's our subconscious saying whoa!! Hold on there! There is more to this decision than just SMART analysis.
The most amazing people on this planet have learned to navigate between the conscious and the subconscious effortlessly.
Sure they can think brilliantly, but they are also brave enough, and attuned enough, to listen to their feelings at the same time.
Their thinking and feeling are complementary and beautifully in sync.
When you can do that your whole energetic system becomes aligned, and your future will look incredibly rosy, since the decisions that you will make will be rounded.
I have tried so many ways of making that happen in my life.
Before throwing my job in and travelling around the world in my late 20s; I told my friends I was going to do it and noticed how it felt to tell them.
I wasn't committed to going.
But the more I told people; the better it felt and the more I realised it was the right decision for me.
I know people who can't decide on a binary choice and therefore flip a coin.
Regardless of how that coin lands it will provoke the subconscious to let you know which option you truly want and you will feel it.
But by far the most beautiful design for making big decisions is using Talk It Out. Download the app - it's free.
Plug in a headset and go for a walk.
And as you do so rant about the topic you need to decide around.
After a while you will run out of conscious stories (i.e. the smart stuff that makes sense).
Just keep talking.
Anything that comes into your head is a useful stimulus.
It doesn't have to be clever or even true.
Just keep talking.
And just keep walking.
Because when you walk you access more of your subconscious and therefore you will go deeper faster.
Every now and again you will say something that stands out in some way. You will know that because you will feel it.
At that point just press the button and say what it is that you have just become aware of.
These are the insights that will help you decide.
They will be captured in text and audio, so you don't have to listen back to your recording.
When you feel as if clarity has returned to your consciousness; review the insights you've got and make your decision.
What you will notice is that the decision now makes sense intellectually and also feels rather wonderful.
Talk It Out helps make decisions with flair, enjoyment and humanity.
It's no longer a struggle with anxiety, but becomes a liberation.
And that's a launchpad to a sparkly future.